My Life My World

Sours' Gone. Heree Comes Dessert =)

2009-06-21T00:51:00.003+08:00

Today.. One word to describe - very happy!!^^ Had my first time, first experience of being a song leader. I guess it's not that easy as I thought. -.- sigh* Did make a few mistakes la. etc, the "This is My Desire" song which is my last song that I'm gonna sing, the bridge should repeat 6times de. Coz the 1st and 2nd time, I solo then followed with back-up singers. I hessitated, lost and gave the chorus signal. Haiz... N erm.., got another mistake. When sing finish jor, I don't know what to do! Before that, I kept on thinking and practicing on what to do, what to say, memorizing the lyrics, how I'm going to sing, my style of singing but never thought of what I should do at the ending, lol! I should invite back the host and hostess de.. Which is Feli and Joseph. Coz I was like stunned at the stage for few seconds liao.. Don't know what to say. So panicked lol, and said "announcement sir?". Then Joseph came up to me. Then *****. Like that lor..zz

Drill was syok.. Anson was ~~horrorfying~~ serious, like very.. xD
Feli command me, Kai Xian and Kar Yan. Coz we 3 in Anson's group not that good at the "belakang pusing" move. Quite fun actually. =)
After BB dismissed, I then went for sketch practice for the annivarsary. TK was like damn funny. I tried my best not to laugh. But our actions and his big actions make things seem so hillarious! We're supposed to act like new BB members, don't know how to march. Kai Xian, as an officer commanded, "pusing kanan". We were like, I turn to left, TK turn behind, Chee Wah the only turn right. Three different direction..xD N when TK hentak kaki, he shout damn loud N hentak very hard, very loud, I looked at him then he jumped up and ouch ouch.., he said his leg pain =P Many funny things happened.

Then leh.. After sketch practice, phoned my mum that I'll not be home early, then at bout 7pm+, we followed Sir Tan and he drove us to a restaurant called K.F.C. in Alam Jaya. Had our dinner there. There we're7 of us. Sir Tan, Nicholas, Richard, Ban Kok, Joshua Ng, Ban Kok & Me! I ordered Tom Yam. Nice~
We head back to church for the "I Not Stupid" Talk while BK, Cheng Foong got dance practice for annivarsary too. I walk here, walk there. Then Nicholas called, went helped the PA system. He bassist. Ric drummer. I was there alone lol! The big problem is that I can't read chinese!! But I can read those very simple ones. So worry that I'll press wrong slide. ~_~ swt. After they play finish the song dy, the man starts his talk. Nic N Ric were around me at first, I was still controlling it, moments later. They left! N they never came back~~~ Till erm...about 9pm+, that was even when my mom came to fetch me home. Lol, craps. Left me listening the talk alone T.T
Daniel took over then.

A week without BB friends, is a week without life, an uncomplete-balanced week without the nice desserts to enjoy =)
May the bitter be forgotten. May the past be left behind. May the bright side be open to us. Love You! Praise God!

To Lord, To God. Peace Within.

2009-06-20T00:48:00.005+08:00

It's Saturday now! This week's song leader is...ME! =D
Very happy lol. I've been like waiting for ages, till I got spider webs dy. -.-

Hmm.. Actually got many songs I wana sing de. But can only choose three o.. Haiz.. Not only that, must choose one song which is not english summore =="
Anyway, check out the songs I really like in church ^^

#1 - This Is My Desire
#2 - Worthy Is The Lamb
#3 - How Great Is Our God

Actually got plenty la.. I just give you my top 3. Lols! Haiz.. Now a bit regret jor. The songs I chose were This Is My Desire, Here I Am To Worship and Qu Shi Xian (the chinese song) -.-
Haiz.. How good if I can choose 3english ones? #_#

I know my heart, is not feeling well. Felt like something's stuck inside within me. Wanted to shout it out but afraid. Needed help desperately, but too proud to ask. Hold my breath and run through it.

There's this one thing I do agree on".

"甜的吃，苦的也吃".

This is my life. Maybe it's my destiny to face all these. Maybe it's not? Gosh! Maybe I'm thinking too far. Forget it.

I'm waiting for the day where I'll be enjoying my golden years. Who knows what might happen by then. Will I be able to become a millionaire by the age of 27? Do hope so..xP

Why 27? Hmm.. Coz it's a nice number? Coz it's 2020 Wawasan? Coz I'm old? lol!

choi choi choi~!

Ruthless Fight

2009-06-19T13:21:00.004+08:00

Today, I had a fight with Harvey in class. It was on BM subject. Teacher was busy marking the papers, counting the marks. Half of the class gathered around her, anticipated to know their scores and their friend's.

Harvey, Chun Keong, Guang Wei and I we're gathered at a spot at the left-front side of the class, playing, chit-chatting. It all happened when I saw Chun Keong holding hair wax in his hands, scrubbing a bit by bit onto his hair. I too, took some and put in on my hair while chit-chatting. I don't know whose wax it belongs to, and I'm not really that interested to find out who's the owner. So, we kept on chatting blank. All the sudden, Chun Keong took the whole wax (with it's container) and scrubbed it on my hair. I was like, what the? But of coz la, he's just playing, pranking. So i did not take that seriously. Don't know what happened after that. Moments later, Harvey wana take the wax and it's container's cap to close it. I acted fast and took the wax and scrubbed it onto Harvey's hair, a little white wax could be seen. His reaction was like pissed off. Then he said things like "don't make me angry, i tell you, when i angry, i smack then you know". WTh? Bullshit! He know we're just playing, but he took it seriously. What about Chun Keong who did the same to me? Should I be that mad at him too? What about him (Harvey) pushing me before? Not once, but severals. I was, too, unhappy, angry, but I know he was just playing, fooling. Who do he think he is? Won't I be angry too? He even smack me on my right. What I see, what I feel. Is not a heart full with hatreds but pain, and sadness of loosing a friend. Memories of past - of him at the gates, we chated together, in the class, we joked together, we played together, share thoughts. That smack, brought me to a stun. For a second, I saw memories, of the good moments passing in front of my eyes, erased, lost, deleted, gone.
I will and would not forgive him for his action of what he did today. Never. Not till unless he sincerely apologizes. This kind of friend, they we're right. He was a gangster, rubbish, that's what they told me. But I disbelieve and told them that was okay, quite friendly one.

Never expect my last day to be that - tragic. Crusified.

PS: I wrote half of this post in school's computer lab at around 1pm. Continued at midnight, completed at 12.44am.

Wicked Road To Nowhere

2009-06-18T17:53:00.004+08:00

A lot had happened since I last post. Now, I'm starting to doubt my future. I'm not sure what is right or which is wrong. I am - leaving SMK Taman Connaught. I should've been very happy as I was wishing for it to come eversince that tragedy had happened in the early of the year. Was very unhappy almost everyday. Things I do, there'll be definitely a mistake, something not done right. Been scold, been blamed, been every worst nightmare I've ever dreamt. But somehow, after the exam, after the holidays. Things doesn't seem that way that much as it was before anymore. Why? I should've been very happy that I my parents finally allowed me to transfer back. Yet now, I feel like I don't wana leave? What is wrong? What makes me want to stay here as I was so unhappy for almost the whole half year being here? My mind, can't stop thinking about it. Thinking that I'm about to leave. Going back to Perimbun. Was it or not a good or wise decision? Is staying a wise decision? What makes me wana stay? Is it the because of the good teachers here? My class teacher - Pn Usha? Or was it the great one-of-my-idol disciplinary teacher Mr.John? Or was it all of it which includes those best teachers the school ready provided for the first class students - the best? Maybe it's the because of the positions I hold now? Class monitor of 4S1, Ketua Publisiti of "The Connaughtian Awards" or choir's future chairman? I don't know! Really! Maybe another part of myself is fear of letting down all my friends, peoples I know, teachers too. I'm afraid? I''m so confused right now. Everything around me doesn't seem right. I once told myself, reminded myself to appreciate things you owned now. Because, when you have it, you won't feel like it. You would've wished for a better change and when you're about to lose it, you appreciate it. The feeling of regretness - too late! They had this personality test, I took it. It stats that I'm a "thinker", saying that I'm a person who always think a lot, dream, imagine...etc.
Yes, I guess I was that kind of person. Many people once said I looked blur, but NO! I was thinking something, thoughts inside me. That is why I wasn't there. My eyes, we're at no focus coz I'm so into my thoughts. That is why, why I looked blur. -.- Today, my mom brought me to apply for school shifting at Kajang's PPD. Before that, we had lunch at Tesco's food court. It's been approved. Now I'm really getting worry. Part of me wants me to tell my mom that I changed my mind. Another part of me tells me to just go on with whatever I am about to do now. There is - so many different me. Different thoughts from different parts. Changing and not changing has it's good and bad. I really do want to know, which will benefit me most? Life, is complex. Especially when we're growing up. From teens to adult. More responsibilities, more burdens to carry. Pressures and tenses from everywhere. Life. Complex.
I am wishing when I go back to Perimbun, I could straight wear back my PRS uniform. Start get back active to RCS. Praying, hoping, aiming for every highest position possible. But what's the chances of success? Damn low! Why? It's because the co-curriculum activities ends at August, and I'm coming back at June? How many months I have? Two? Two and a half? Not only that, the RCS's perlantikan is on September, that's what I heard. What's more worst it the teacher and the RCS's system. Positions is chosen by teachers! Not voting..nonono!
What Should I do? What Must I do? What Can I do?
I aimed high, should've succeed, but in my journey, I made too much wrong decisions. Things gone wrong. What gone is gone. Pasts can't be changed. Hurtful. Reality.

Time is getting short. I am - dying.

CrapZ #13

2009-06-08T00:32:00.004+08:00

Copied from Hui Min, which she copied from Ah Ta...xD

1. i love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you..=)

My Thoughts---> Not agree..xD I like her coz of who she is N how she is.. =D

2. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry..

My Thoughts---> Err? Who knows mayb she very touched den cry? =X

3. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have..

My Thoughts---> Aww... TT

4. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart..

My Thoughts---> Eww.. Don't touch my hand.. gay de meh~ x.X

5. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them..

My Thoughts---> Awwww~~~~~ This is so true, so close but yet seem so far.. T___T

6. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile..

My Thoughts---> Do hope so.. --"

7. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world..

My Thoughts---> That's lov3, rite??

8. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you..

My Thoughts---> Get LOSt!! shoo shoo~~ >_<

9. Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful..

My Thoughts---> Walao..suffer de leh, meet wrg people..

10. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened..

My Thoughts---> Yay, my mouse is dead! =)

11. There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around..

My Thoughts---> Mmm.. agree.. =P

12. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you..

My Thoughts---> @_@ Zzz...

13. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to..

My Thoughts---> Don't trust this..lol!

remember : everything that happens, happenes for a reason..=)

True friends: How many people actually have 8 true friends?

Hardly anyone I know ! But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

Another Touching Love Story

2009-06-07T23:14:00.005+08:00

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin.
I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we
went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him.
Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my
love for him.
And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each
other in different ways.
I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there
were so many other girls.
To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just
another girl…

"Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?" I asked.
"I can't"
"Why? You need to study at home?" I felt disappointment
grabbing me.
"No… I am going to meet a friend…"

He was always like that.
He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing.
To him, I was just a girlfriend.
The word 'love' only came out from my mouth.
Since I knew him, I had never heard him say 'I love you'
before.
To us, there weren't any anniversaries at all.
He didn't say anything from the first day and it continued
till 100 days…200days…
Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a
doll, everyday, without fail. I don't know why…
Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don't drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.

That was how he ignored my 'three words' and handed me the doll.
Then he disappeared, like he was running away.
The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room,
one by one. There were many…

Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday.
When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him,
and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call.
But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was
dark… he still didn't call.................
It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore.
Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me
and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the
house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.

Me: Jin…
Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What's this?
Jin: I didn't give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it
to you now. I'm going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?

I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday.
He turned around and walked away like nothing had
happen.

Then I shouted…
"Wait…"
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me

I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him.
But he just said simple cold words and left.
"I don't want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you
are desperate to hear it, then find someone else."
That was what he said. Then he ran off.
My legs felt numb…and I collapsed to the ground. He
didn't want to say it easily…
How could he….
I felt that…
Maybe he is not the right guy for me…

After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying.
He didn't call me, although I was waiting.
He just continued handing me a little doll every morning
outside my house.

That's how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday
After a month, I got myself together and went to school.
But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on
a street…with another girl…
He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed
me…as he touched the doll…
I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my
room, and tears fell…
Why did he gave these to me…
Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…
In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around.
Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him.
He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house.
I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop.
I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him,
that… it's going to end.

Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.
Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn't help hating him, acting like nothing had happen
and joking around.
Soon, he held out the doll as usual…

Me: I don't need it.
Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don't need this doll, I don't need it anymore!! I don't
want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike
other days, his eyes very shaking.
"I'm sorry" He apologized in a tiny voice.
He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just
throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll.
Then…

Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.

"Jin! Move! Move away!" I shouted…
But he didn't hear me, he squatted down and picked up the
doll.
"Jin, move!"
HONK~!!
"Boom!" That sound, so terrifying.

That's how he went away from me.
That's how he went away without even opening his eyes to
say one word to me.

After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness
and the sadness of losing him…
And after spending two months like a crazy person…
I took out the dolls.
Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we
started going out.
I remembered the days I spent with him and started to
count the days… when we were in love…
"One…two… three…"
That was how… I started to count the dolls…
"Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty
five…"
It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms.
I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

"I love you~, I love you~"
I dropped the dolls,shocked.
"I….lo..ve…you??"
I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.
"I love you~ I love you~"
It can't be!
I pressed all the dolls' stomach as it piled on the side.
"I love you~"
"I love you~"
"I love you~"
Those words came out non-stop.
I…love you…

Why didn't I realize that….................
That his heart was always by my side, protecting me.
Why didn't I realize that he love me this much…
I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it's stomach,
that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road.
It had his blood stain on it.

The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…
"Jo…Do you know what today is? We've been loving each
other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn't
say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you
forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you…
everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…"

The tears came flowing out of me................. Why? Why? I asked
god, why do I only know about all this now?
He can't be by my side, but he loved me until his last
minute…
For that… and for that reason… to me… it became
courage… to live a beautiful life….

It's better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose someone that you love with your useless pride !

The Day Of The Days

2009-06-04T23:06:00.008+08:00

It was two days ago - Ban Kok, Nicholas, Joshua, Hui Min they'll planned to go to the night market at Connaught and suggested to go to BK's house on Wednesday, but before that, we go Jusco first as the song pratices which we had at the morning for the annivarsary finishes. Actually arr~ I wasn't supposed to go with them de.. I mean I should, nono-I shouldn't.. lols.. Maybe I should.. -.- The fact is, I made a promise to Hazel the day before that I'll accompany her out to Times Square walk walk meet Jia Ee at KLCC play de.. But only 3ppl.. (siao) N I relli no mood to go lol..haiz.. Coz the day before, I went somewhere dy..

Anyway, so erm.. The day after, I actually broke the promise, sms-ed Jia Ee and Hazel that I won't go. Poor Hazel, she's at the school waiting for me de.. Damn guilty! Sorry arr!! T_T

Haha.. cut that short ba.. I N the gang (BK, Joshua, Nic, HuiMin, Josiah, Cheng Foong) together went to the bus stop. Was hessitating where to go. Should go Jusco de, then suddenly say wan go Leisure Mall, I pulak sms-ed my dear that I'm going Leisure Mall, suddenly! Got bus go Jusco, N we crossed the road N go Jusco dy.. -.- Haha.. Sry leh Hazel!

Bought the movie tickets, we watched Night At The Musuem 2. It was damn lame!! Lame dao.. Very very nice~~ Got one part seems like "300" de movie. Difference is the "300" kill people de but the NATM2 is poking legs -.- We had our lunch, which is my breakfast, I and Nic went Old Town Cafe, the others go duno wat restaurant..nt nice de fooD

Went shopping, called Hui Min to help me choose to buy a purse for my fren, I accidentally loudly said girlfriend -.- Was keepin a secretly actually. Saw one very nice. Wanted to buy for her. Hmm.. Not enuff money! lols.. Mayb next time.. I sure will buy de.. Eye on it dy..xD

After finished watchin.. We went across to the bus stop return back to church coz BK, ChengFoong they'll had dance practice.. After that, we should be going to the night market fetched by BK de mom de.. But arr! His mom called N told him that the car cannot go out coz the stalls all block dy..zz Lame lar!
So we had to walk to the bus stop. We took taxi there.. 7 of us +1 which is my ol fren met at the bus stop heading to Connaught, Giant. I sit de taxi, Nic, Joshua, that fren of mine and me. Haiz.. Then arr...Nic forgot where BK's house, make us took a long cut! Wahse.., far dao..

Reached BK's house, first I thought he was a very very rich de guy lai de.. But it's ok la.. I like who he is.. Nice & friendly. His house is at the 1st floor, shoplots. Went to his room. Woosh~~! Greeted by em.. Saw Jess, Lois N CM. Chated there a while, watched Final Destination 2. BK on de! Haha..., that movie got ahem~ ahem~ de..
-.-" They saw the girl pull her shirt up and everyone laughed.. =DD

Went to night market, very very crowded! All like sardines.. Walking 0.1ms-1! Probably even slower than that -.-
Used a lot of money, bout RM50..! T__T Moments later, Anson joined us said his father forced him come out de wor coz not exposed -.- Then came May San too.. ^^
We seperated into several small group. I was with Nic, coz if walk in group ar.., slow like tortoise..zz N we were starving like hell.. I bought a packet of Uncle Bob chicken with extra spicy while Nic bought prawn noodles as our dinner. Waited downstair at BK de house, wait dao die dy! Bout an hour waiting him.. Felt like strangling him that time..lols..coz damn hungry dy!

Ate at his house, really enjoyed! I was supposed to stay overnight at his house but can't le..coz my manager called, the day after got shooting, need reach company by 7.30am! Haha..so no choice ler.. When I was on my way walking out finding my dad, I witnessed an accident leh!
The guy with motorcycle hit an Avanza car. His face, fuiyoh! Blooody~~ His fren helped carry him to the side, bus stop. His ride, haha.. very nice..! All shattered..

Haiz.. tragedies.. K la.. Wana sleep dy.. Midnight le! =]

Crossing Jusco heading to bus stop..

Go bak church lu~~

Jusco!! N that funny Night At The Museum --"

Chattin~~

Hui Min -.-

Hey Hey?

On way to BK's house..lolz

Zzz.. They off-ed the lights, watching Final Destination 2. Many cowards xD

The scene of the incident.. SEE! The scattered pieces of glasses.. --

Gosh!! So MaNy Mem0RieS~!

2009-06-02T18:50:00.006+08:00

Aiyo~~!

I relli relli very very lazy to post blog le.. I kept thinking of updating it.. At the end, it was just still a thought.. No actions.. -.-

Right.., there's just so much nice, sweet things happened.. N bitter ones too.. ~_~
Well.. Let's see what I could re-call today.

Last week's Thursday, two days before Saturday (where my holidays begin), the day after a two week non-stop exam. A day where I should've been relax N joy.. Sleep at home till the wee hours.., but instead! I had to wake up at the same ol time and the same ol morning to school.. Why?! Actually I shouldn't and don't have to go to school. But no choice la.. Pn. Usha called me to help out to decorate the duno duno wat wat "Anugerah Cemerlang" board with Carson Tan (which I nominate her as my assistant). xD

Haha..! Why? Coz..erm.. 0,0" I think it's becoz we shared almost the same name.. The pronounciation also almost da same..

Work like slave leh, tat day.. Morning 7.30am decorate dao bout 11pm. Den after that, need go practice singing with the choir team coz we're gonna perform in the afternoon. Tat performance ar...really sucks! I forgot most of the lyrics, can't even hear my own voice even that I'm using a mic! Haiz.., one word - terrible! Then after the performance ended dy, our teacher said it was good, touched the teachers wor..lol~ That's actually the worst I'd ever sang. I remembered after that, I emo le...coz overheard what they said that they don't wana sing anymore, don't wana go up stage, all those very heart-pounding, painful, hurtful-dissapointing de things.. Quite angry actually..zz

Never mind la.. Forget bout it la.. Then leh, the second day - which is Saturday, we had our choir BBQ gathering! I skipped my BB de annivarsary sketch practice coz no time..haha Dissapointed em.. -.- (SRY!)

The BBQ gathering, is really one of it's kind... Happy, Sad, ANgry, Bored, Emo~ All kinds of different atmostphere.. haiz.. They play dao fight..! Make me so angry dao need scold them.. I was shoutin like crazy. Lost my rationality.. haha.. =P

That's what a leader must do right, I'm a leader..be wise..step up..solve prob~
Feel's nice.. (happy I guess?) Enjoyed myself. Jia Ee, pulak again kena scolded by her sister..lolz
Wat kind of sister lai de..?! Haiz..sad =(

Throughout that night, they played too much! The food arr.. So much left! Hehe.. Someone brought me lambs.. So nice leh! So so so happy.. ^^
Really enjoyed the moments at the swimming pool, very nice actually, one dear dear cried ='(
Gave her comfort.. I guess that's all I could do at that moment.

Took some pictures.. Not that nice.. -.-

Here's the biG ol-swimming pool where we gonna play~ =D

Swim! =]

Haha.. They're playing something, i guess?

The cake! Baked N designed by Hazel's mom..

Fuiyoh~ Jia Ying N Roxy~~! Both sitting there dating.. -.-"

To Dear Readers...

2009-05-25T15:07:00.002+08:00

Dear readers/visitors of my blog, it seems it has been almost a month since my last post. Somehow, I'm getting lazier. Somehow, the exams is affecting me. Anyway, I'll be back.. After this mid-term exam ends..

And.....

ENJOY MY HOLIDAY~~!!!

Arrghh~~~ Grrrr.......xD

Choir Team Spirit!! Muazx~

2009-04-30T16:06:00.011+08:00

I Love You~~! Yep-yeP ^^

I really do..., but to who leh?? To all my dear choir members lor, of coz =P
You guys just too great, can't help not to be proud of~!

Every single moment I spend with you guys, it's worth it, definitely, I know. Even that I'm skipping my daily classes for choir practices due to the competition around the corner, but to me. It's damn worth it N I love skipping classes! lol~ =x

I can't forget the times we work hard together and sing, times we chat and joke, times we play Truth & Dare, times we hang out.. All of it, every single moment. I missed it. The competition we all worked hard for, was over yesterday. Now, I'm starting to afraid, that the friendship we had and the bond we built will gone away. Becoz from now on, we'll only see each other on Saturdays. Not much time for us to spend our wee hours like how we did always, chattin, playin, full of smiles and laughters together. Share our secrets and others'. How wonderful this kind of life is.

I've been so moody today, thinking bout this, afraid that there'll be no tomorrow. I know that they're all growing up as days gone by. Some of us someday, will leave and go on further for our own dreams. This is reality I cannot escape to accept and enjoy as much as I could. I always wants be the centerman for them, care their feelings and I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out completely. Some of them may have family problems which is so reality. I know I could do nothing. But I always wanted to be there for them when they needed chat, share, help and guide as much as I can.

Teenz life, who wouldn't want to have and leave a great memory in their lives? Everyone wished they could be happy all the time, but happiness has it's price. Even I wished I could really be happy, but could I? No. Some happiness requires you to give up something for another. It depends on how we look at life. Point of view and ways we managed it ourselves.

Gorsh~ Why suddenly I talk bout life -.-" Anyway, I'm very happy of our choir team's achievement, although we never really won, it doesn't matter, really. I heard that this choir club started before once long ago but failed to get support and end up closed. Later then this year, a great teacher who is Pn.Lim, has chosen to run this choir club live again and then till now, which brought it all begins, the birth of our choir team family! ^^

I love you guys s0 much, hopefully we will stay close and strong together+forever! mUaxXz....!!

This is our "Great Teacher"~!! ThX so Muchie!

Hmm...ain't both of them beside me look alike? lolz!

Hehe...we're preparing to go lor.. leaving our home for our 1st historical journey.. =P

Some of our girl members..

Roxy, our pianist~!

o.O?

Hahaz..he's the only indian, but we all do respect him =]

Zzz... Nice pose..LOLz!

Haha..usually he talks a lot, but suddenly ytd he was very quiet, den only i know, he sick jor -.-

He's cuT3 =3

This is the hall where we're gonna perform on.

hmm..our opponents to face.. ~_~!

wee~ wee~ Place for us to rest, eat, practice.

After make up --" with lip gloss too~

HaZel ^^ & Jia Yee (the choir leader) xD

All lining up preparing to enter lu..hmm, they seemed relax =="

Our turn! Syok arr..

l0lz..playin ler after the competition..

Hehe.. I called one of our choir members to help record de. Unfortunately is practice only -.-

Coz no one help record when we sing during the competition...haiz T.T

Anyway, quite nice..enjoY!! =DD

First Shooting At The Mines!

2009-04-27T10:38:00.004+08:00

Last Saturday's shooting was damn fun. Took taxi to Mediacorp, the stupid taxi guy brought me to the wrong place, N it took me like 30mins of sweat upon realizing that I'm in the wrong place! I kept asking peoples around the shoplots area, running here & there. Finally then, I took another taxi to exact location. haiX! ~_~

Thx God I wasn't late! Anyway, I went to wrong place again. I was asked to ride in a taxi plated 6646. Instead, I went into the Mediacorp studio's N for sake, I can even went to the wrong one...zzZ I took the lift, reached the 1st floor, saw no one, saw no doors, went in back the lift N to the another floor. Repeat the same act until I reach 4th floor. Then I went out, took a look, was too late N the lift shuted. -.- I thought it would be smart for me to take the stairs, I ran to the 5th, door was locked! I ran to the 6th, it was the same~! OMG!! lame. I ran back down to the 4th floor then. Then I entered the lift, going down, on 3th floor, saw a door but requires some sort of passcodes to enter. I knocked the door, N waaaaaT?! A celebrity opened the door for me! He never asked me anything N I just went in all of a sudden --" N I saw another one. I've seen all of em from NTV7 drama series, can't bliv I'm seeing them from so close a distant N even got a chance to talk to em'. Walao~eh~~!

Anyway, I went to the wrong place. A girl told me, then all of us left together, entering the same life. They went theirs, I went in the taxi plated 6646 with some two other guys N a girl which I'm supposed to. Gwarsh, I overheard the guys talkin beside me, I'm sure they're from China, their chinese was so rythemic..x_X

It was a far location, then I came to realize, we were gonna shoot in The Mines! I was acting as a trainee for a jewellery shop called GOLDHEART. There were two female main actors, I was serving one of em.

Rite, let's cut short. I did not act that well, director said I was nervous, every movement of me seemed like robot or like pencuri. -.- Somethin like tat, coz in chinese, don't know exactly how to translate. Haiz.. Anyway, I had a great day.They even pay for my lunch which is RM6. Know a few friends which act as a side actors too, the girl which i mentioned earlier told me that usually our agent bank in the money into our accounts. Payment is about RM60++ depending on the role. After The Mines, they went shooting at Venice Hill which is near where I stay. Many lame things happen.

K lar.. No choice but to cut things short. Coz lack of time. xD

Anyway, I took some pics to share with.. Chiaozz...

Mediacorp!!

All setting uP..=P

Wahse~ cheh..

GoldHeart... o.O

well, I'm a trainee -.-

Equip~ equip~ =P

I saw em at da same place whr I was shooting! The actors of Alam's Story Drama Series!! ^^

lolx! After the shoot in THE MINES, they went shooting at Venice Hill, near my house -.-

Fuss & ShoooooooT!!

2009-04-22T17:24:00.003+08:00

Remember I mentioned bout tat I met someone from the Mediacorp the last post? Well, she's really been calling me these several days, I mean starting from last Sunday. N you noe wat?! I keep missed answering her call!! Damn~~!

She phoned me last Sunday at around 9pm++, N I saw the call at 10.30pm++. When I tried to call her back, she never answered. Minutes later, I received a sms from her telling me that it's ok, and continue what I was doing. -.- Haiz!

On the second day, which is Monday. She called me again, this time, it's during school hours at bout 12.30pm N wat the..?! I missed her call~! Again I'm an hour+ late! Luckily I was practicing choir at that time in the Bilik Seni room, that means even if I take out my phone also never mind de lolx..haha Coz no people see mar.. Then again, I called her back, she again never answer my call. N again, minutes later, she called me back N told me that they've found the people they needed dy. Then she said she'll call me if there's another shooting. Haiz.. Craaaap~~ With my heart filled with sorrow, I continued singing then.. T_T

Two days later, which is today, Wednesday. I've predicted that she might call so I decided to check on my phone as often as I could. But-I totally forgot bout it! She called me again during school hours at 9.34am, as before, I was late 1hour N phoned her, while I'm calling her, I ran N hide under the teacher's desk so no one could see me..xD This time, she answered my call, she kinda like scolded me, coz a bit pissed off, I guess coz I always never answer her call.. T_T She told me she called my mum's phone! N my mum told her I was in skul..lolx So she tell me to email her my time which I'm not free.. @@" Later then, she hung up. My heart was pound with pain N sadness.. Was so afraid that I've lost her trust N that she don't want me anymore. N I was showing the same sad, frustrated face throughout the lesson.

1hour later, miracle happened. I borrowed my phone to one of my fren, then suddenly she tell me that somone called. I was like- Wat?! yay~! I took the phone, looked at the name N it was her! I hide behing them, teacher's infront, N answered her call, she told me that there'll be one shooting this Saturday at 1pm, she called me to go to the Maluri there where the office is located N asked if I could on that time & day. Without hesitate, I agreed. There's one lame thing that I can't get it off my mind, she told me to prepare a bit on that day coz the people they needed should be a bit older. So she told me that from today till Satuday, "DONT SHAVE YOUR MOUSTACHE"!!

Oh God~~ Happily, I fainted coz of lameness.. ^^

Been Very Tough Recently..

2009-04-19T14:19:00.005+08:00

Very sorry for not updating my blog lately..haiz!

Reason #1 - Lazy
#2 - Busy with studies which related to #1
#3 - Busy with personal activities which related to #1
#4 - Planning for upcoming auditions/castings.
#5 - Pressured around these days.
#6 - No mood.
#7 - Tired.
#8 - Bored.
#9 - No time.
#10 - Sad.

lolx..rubbish.. Just say lazy lar..xD
Haha.. At least now I update a bit. ^^

Well, I remember last month I went for a casting at the RED COMMUNICATIONS SDN BHD which is located at Petaling Jaya on March 17. I thought after that casting, I'll never be able to find another audition anymore, kind of losing hope. I guessed I was wrong. Well, I never really gave up, I keep searching, keep waiting patiently. N now, I found myself 4auditions!!

Let's see my schedule xD ;

18th April
- Fist Of Dragon movie Audition (Fusion Media Pte Ltd) @ PJ-Armada Hotel
at 8.30am
- Fantabulous Talent Agency Casting @ Ampang-Tiara Condominium at 12pm

23th April
- Malay Drama Audition (Popiah Pictures Sdn Bhd) @ KL-Bukit Bintang at 3pm
- KLPAC's Hot New Musical Audition @ KL-KLPAC at 8.30pm

Cool rite? Haha.. Well, after my turn of the audition at Armada Hotel, I met someone from Mediacorp. We had a long chat. She called me to send my profile to her. N ask if I'm interested to be an extra actor, which means "kelefe".. haha.. =P

Maybe some people thinks it's crap. If you think it that way, you are really a CRAP!
Well, if u see things another side. It's actually somethin very good! 1st u'll get to learn more bout wat's wat in this industry N at the same time of being a "kalefe", u can learn acting! Know more ppl! N slowly not afraid of camera.. Something like tat.. Very good lolx.. Coz if suddenly become actor.. Kind of a hard thing to do also.. Well, the expression all those.. Haiz.. If wrong, den kena scold by director de! >.<

Anyway, I'm so glad that I've met her. Hope she'll really help me with it. Heard that they usually have to reach office by 6.30am! OMG~~! Don think too much 1st.. lalalalaa~~~~lolX!

Aiks...!

2009-04-07T14:21:00.002+08:00

Aiya.. Wrong ler, wrong ler.. I asked Lye ler.. Band performance is on this week's Sunday, performing for the enrollment service, then next week de leh is for erm..i duno xP I heard Lye said we'll be performing nearby IOI mall where there's a school opposite it. And also another next week -.- Erm.., that 'another next week' performance ner, is to help out other school de band, I heard they're quite new, so...they don't really have many instruments.. Mostly is pipe flute.. 0-0 For this performance, they'll choose some good ones to go only. I think I'll be chosen gua.. Coz I okok de.. =x

Oh ya.. The following week of that 'another next week', I'll be going for my choir competition! Weee..... Teacher told me it's on the 28th. I'm very happy =] Coz I can finally sing! Well, I always sing.. ~_~ Just that not performing outside ba ler ma.. Usually sing at church, my house, fren's house, karaoke & toilet =x

Hahaha... =D Last Saturday I was given a new trumpet.. Damn happy & excited & happy & excited~ *-* It's so shiny and new and nice and, and........erm.. Nice? xD Before that, there's a lot of collisions and arguments, it seems like debate.. When they asked why do I want to change a new one, I just don't know how to explain. Really ar..haix! Well, let's make it this way. A phone is a phone. People buy it to make calls. I mean in the olden days, so don't tell me they wana buy new coz more functions N got camera lar N can hear music lar.. nonononono~~~!! =P Ahem.., so why many teenagers wanted to have a new and nicer phone when it had the same function? Why? Can use other things as example de lar.. So I cincai use phone as contoh lor.. WHY ar? If it's just becoz of it's appearance, then it's not worth lor..

[brb-skul Cc time dy]

Upcoming Events!

2009-04-06T13:42:00.002+08:00

Waa... Weee... Woooo.....lolx?

Haha.. I'm kinda happy and a little bit of excited lately.. Coz a lot of upcoming performances that I'll be performing~! There'll be the BB Band performances and my choir competition.. +_+" Doesn't seem many right? Well, actually is like this de.. Band performance is coming up this weekend, I think it's Saturday N Sunday. Then next week also got..! T.T

The performances ain't the busy part, it's the practice & training process which maked it seem so tough @.@

(cont ltr-go tuition...paiseh)

Earth Hour - Save Earth!

2009-03-27T20:58:00.004+08:00

In 2009, Earth Hour is being taken to the next level, with the goal of 1 billion people switching off their lights as part of a global vote. Unlike any election in history, it is not about what country you’re from, but instead, what planet you’re from. VOTE EARTH is a global call to action for every individual, every business, and every community. A call to stand up and take control over the future of our planet. Over 84 countries and territories have pledged their support to VOTE EARTH during Earth Hour 2009, and this number is growing everyday.We all have a vote, and every single vote counts. Together we can take control of the future of our planet, for future generations.VOTE EARTH by simply switching off your lights for one hour, and join the world for Earth Hour.Saturday, March 28, 8:30-9:30pm.

Tomorrow night, millions of people are joining together, and turning off their lights to help make a difference and raise awareness about the issue of global warming. See how the world is taking part, with these live news feeds and images from participating cities. Don't forget to share your Earth Hour moments too.. xD

Remember - turn off your lights! Pzzt...

Oh No.....!

2009-03-24T20:29:00.007+08:00

HI Jason,

we are just start shoot the drama yesterday, and i am sorry to tell you that u are not selected for the gay boy role. however we will keep in view your profile, for other futhur role in tis drama. will keep in touch with you then. thanks

fei

[ This is what I received from her on Tuesday, 24 Mar, 2009 3: 03 PM. I guess I really need more practice.. T.T Opportunity was in my hands, yet I never make a good use of it, never bust it all out.. What a shame! =( ]

I Think It's Just Me Being Me..

2009-03-23T22:56:00.006+08:00

I remembered the post I posted on Wednesday, March 18, 2009.. As time passes, I see things clearer and got to understand more.. Feelings is not always right and true and sometimes a lie, if you understand why, it'll seem like a trap.. Sometimes we see things as if it's your everything, what you ever wanted, what you liked so much, that you sweared you had no doubt bout it and no regrets after having it, but there is actually more than that. It doesn't always end or be that way. That feeling that you owned that moment, would not last. Becoz we, our human beings' heart are so complex, we could change anytime. And so, I learnt, before making decisions of what I'm going to do in the future and whether it is right or wrong, do some research/survey, make sure that it ain't a mistake. Before someone gets hurt or filled with regret..

Blah Blah Blah....

The Journey Of Gunung Nuang!

2009-03-22T18:50:00.005+08:00

Wanna know about it..? I'll not write about it, coz it's too long.. @.@ Too many things.. xD
So.., just visit the web below, it contain all da photos.. =D

http://picasaweb.google.com/papermeh/GNuang#

JYJY... ^^

Bored~!

2009-03-22T09:28:00.004+08:00

Too much frustration inside my brain @.@! Don't wana think about it.. Haiz.. Getting lazier and lazier to go to school as days gone by.. Especially homeworks, all starting accumulating ler.. x_x There's time I thought of to give up pure science stream, haiz.. Dream unachieved, pressures all around, enjoyment cannot last, friends? I don't have.. What-a-liFe...

I HATE U, HOMEWORKS!! @#$%^&..... =D

PS2 For Sale!!

2009-03-20T20:03:00.004+08:00

Guys~~! Anyone~! I'm selling my PS2.. I don't want it anymore! X_x

L0lx.. Actually is like this de, I'm very addict to anime games which is sort of fantasy-adventure like games.. So far I own this PS2, I've played so many different kinds of games. The best was ahem* Kingdom Hearts, wee.. It was just so cool, I played the 1st Kingdom Hearts when I was Std 6. But can't deny, the 2nd was so much cooler and real, 3D graphics.. ^^ Erm.. I made it through the whole game, killed the boss, thrice!! xD Actually I killed it more than 3times I think, coz I juz wana see the end de story only.. Haha.. But moderate difficulty lar.. =P Haha.. I tried hard mode, but so difficult leh! Can't win.. -.- Wat la me..

Erm.. The main reason I selling is coz I heard tat Kingdom Hearts 3 in out for sale liao!! Shyte, not enuff money to buy pulak.. -.- Haiz.. Wat to do, sell my PS2 den use the money buy PS3 lor.. Actually I also duno buy PS2 for wat de.. Juz becoz of tat game I bought it.. Wat la.. So naive.. x_x

Anw, I even made phone themes bout it.. But nt nice =X Erm.. I don wana say much, check my com lor.. I hav plenty of Kairi-Namine's photos! N Sora-Roxas' too.. Wee.. Kairi sure is attracting me.. 0-0" Haha.. But Sora de hair so yeng X_x

I love fantasy, so I always dream de.. I dislike reality, I don't know how to explain, some ppl who's like me, maybe you'll understand why.. Haiz..

The island I see,
can't be reached by me.

But I wana leave,
all that belongs to me,

to that somewhere,
where I can be in peace.

Is this dream,
Is this reality?
Or was it juz me, who is seeing things?

I see you, I want you..
U are where I am heading to..

[Psst.. I duno wat I writtin la.. -.- Lame dao.. =P But the message for the day is selling PS2, plz tell me if you interested.. tQ]

Today Is So Cool! But A Bit Heart Numb -.-

2009-03-18T23:50:00.005+08:00

Sorry, due to laziness & not enough time, I'll just make things here real short.. Brief story.. xD

Today I went celebrated BK's birthday, it was sooo cool! He seems very busy making sure his guests arrived. Besides that, he even has to fuss himself bout the foods and drinks. He even paid everything!! Which costs about RM500 and if include the TWO cakes, it's RM600! OMG~~! I was a fun day, quite enjoy..
After the lunch we had at Fun OK restaurant, we went to iBoX Karaoke.. We sang N sang till 7pm+.. Sing dao my throat no voice =X

Actually why do I put the tittle heart numb ner? Coz today, I felt a but sad..or maybe it's jealousy.. Haha.. Well, it's related to a girl la.. I think I liked her, but not sure.. Maybe it's not for real, maybe it only happen just this time.. But, I kept feeling uneasy! I wana be close friends with her yet a bit malu-malu pulak..

Today, she left early when we're singing at iBoX coz she said she had to rush back for tuition located near her house which is at Bandar Sungai Long. When she told them that she was going to leave, her friends, which is also my friend, called "X" to send her or more likely accompany her outside.
On that moment, I felt sadness within and jealousy thoughts started crossing my mind.. I was wondering, I thought X got his loved one dy? But why the....he wana be like wooing her?! Quite upset, but..., I never give up. I'll try me best to be closer to her. I wished we could.....hahaha..xD
LOL, don misunderstand lar~ I not that kind of people lar, and also not that evil-evil kinds de.. -.- Just that I wished to feel love again. Is that bad thing too? U won't understand for if you disagree with me. Haiz... Life.. 0-0"

Maybe most thinks I had gf dy coz of maybe what they saw on my phone or probably they thought I was still in contact with a girl called "J", but actually I'm single lar.. Never really close to any girls liao since after J. Though I may not seem that way.. HahA.. Bliv or not is up to yourself lor.. So.., I wished I could really fall in love. It's something extroadinary-beyond limits of our thoughts.. lolx.. Like yes only..

K lar.. Next time cont.. Sleepy.. Camp tomorrow arr!! x_X

14-15 March 2009 - Once Together, Forever Remembers

2009-03-15T16:34:00.007+08:00

Time 7.30am, I woke up.. Opened my eyes, blurred.. Thinking about her again, wondering how things will be like.. Things like how will she look, her face, body, her life, her family... Just can't keep her out of my mind. So anticipated! Suddenly, I heard some water drippling sounds, oh! It was raining! How are they going to play badminton later? The field gotta be wet.. But I already know, that the game definitely been canceled. Yet, I still pretend I don't know, even I know it'll be dissapointment, but to see her, I'm willing to give it all out.
I woke up my mom, she drove me there, I forgot to take pocket money! =.=" Luckily I brought 2ringgit =D Usually I treat her for foods and drinks, but this time, don't know how le..aiks!

Time was around 9am, as I'm getting closer, I'm feeling more and more nervous to see her. I'm sure that she've been more beautiful than before. It seems true, her beautiful eyes I stared at, her smooth hair,her hands, her toes and every single detail bit of her, I studied. I'm so glad and amazed by all that she've been through. The ups and downs, we shared. I wished, she was mine..

Throughout the day, it was quite boring, I never really talk much, she was with her niece, I don't know her -.- She brought me to her house, a couple moments later, we went to the restaurant and had some drinks. We had a little chat. She treat me for the drinks today =X Haha.. Actually, we're not really that close at that moment, coz it's been so long since we last met. When my dad reached, I told her I have to go. She asked me if I need her to send me out, I said, "sure, if it's ok to you". I wished I had more time.

It was quite similar too of what happened today. Just that I lost her.. She went away while I was chatting with some of my old friends. I was so surprised. I kept running and running searching for her, keep hoping that she's just wondering around somewhere near. I ran to her to the field and ran back to the restaurant and back straight to her house again. And heard shutting sounds of the door. By that time, I knew I was too late. I'm really sorry to her. Kept her waiting, ignored her. Definitely she felt boring coz today, she accompanied me at the restaurant for about an hour and half.

I 'm so sad and regret. To tell the truth, I love her. I even thought that she might been kidnapped. There's so many times I want to express my feelings towards her, but I just can't do it. I'm so afraid of getting rejected and we might never be friends again! I wouldn't want to loose her. I feel so helpless.. She means a world to me, I just hope that fate, would bring us together! What If - I had a moment..

To Chia Yee Von : If I had a chance, I wished to have you with me for everyday's breakfast, wished to hear your voice, see you smile, play with you and have you accompany by my side.
I know I may not be like your ex-boyfriend. I know I have a lot of things that I still don't know about since after all these years. But I never forget you. You are my one and only. The days we've once been through, eventhough it is short, but to me, I remember it all, every single moment-lies deep-in my heart.

ღღYeeVon....我爱你!ღღ

a short touching story

2009-03-14T00:12:00.013+08:00

a short touching story

a girl once love a guy from a distance..
she's a loner..
she always watch him from afar..
though she may never be with him as often as she would want to,
that didn't stop her from loving him so much..on the contrary,

the guy often notice the girl staring at him,
her way of looking at him made him feel so annoying,
he cant explain why he's very much affected by the way she stares,
he cant deny the fact that the girl is beautiful..

one day,the girl went with her mom on the doctor,
hopes and dreams faded away as the doctor gave the result of her test..
she have a cancer and she only have a month to live..
tears stream down her face,
but as she cries,
a face gave her strength to live her sh0rt life worth dying for,
then she made a decision..

the girl finally made her way through the guy she loves..
but the guy drove her away,
said that eversince,she's annoying him.
but the girl kept on trying and trying until the guy accepted her...

they became friends..bestfriends to be exact in a short time...
that was the happiest moment of her life,
until..
the guy suddenly proposed her love for the girl,
the girl cried,
tears of joy and sadness,
the guy she loves finally learned to love him back..
and at the same time,she knew that,
that love wont last,
she'll be leaving soon..
and she felt already that her life will come to an end,
she said to the guy,
"if you really love me,
tomorrow,you will not text me,call me,and you will never come to see me,okay..?
just tomorrow..
this is a test..
if your love is true,you will follow my instructions okay..?
i will wait for you in the beach near our house after 24 hours of my test..
"the girl walked away,the tears that she'd been hiding fell down..
she whispered..
"tomorrow,i may leave with lots of memories of you,
your smile,your face,your laughter,and most of all your love..
i can follow my fate happily now..
i love so you much...i'll miss you.."

the guy followed the instructions that the girl gave her..
while sleeping before the end of the 24 hour test,
he dreamed of her,the girl he love,
wearing an angel dress waving at him,
she came near him,and hand him 3 white roses,
she said."want you to know that i love you,
you may find me as an annoying person then,
the way i stare at you,
but i dont have the courage to say how much i love you,
i love you so much..
please always remember that i will still watch you from afar eventhough you
cant see me now,
just please smile for me..
your smile is my strength and your tears are my weakness..
so please smile always..love you..,
"the girl stretched her arms as wide as she can,then..
"i love you this much..!"
a light then shined and he woke up,
he noticed tears on his eyes steaming down his face,
he fixed himself then run as fast he could on the beach,
bringing the engagement ring for her..
he was surprised by what he saw,
a burial,
and there are no people aside from him..
he came near the coffin,
tears again run down his face,
he found a letter on the top of the girl he loves' coffin,
it says the same as the girl said in his dreams..
with a note that says,
"congratulations,
you pass my test..
now take care of my heart,
i left it for you to hold..
love you this much..(a drawing of angel stretching her arms..)now will you smile..?"

='(
hope you like this story..
i made it all for you..

written by: ''..ღღ繁_rHaiYvE_繁ღღ

Living In In-reality

2009-03-08T19:39:00.007+08:00

Living In In-reality

walking this road

without you

to remake forgotten promises

and meet you at road's end

---------------------------------

Every Heart is filled with light,

but to find it, you must first
venture through
darkness...

To find the light, find the darkness...

Now, The Decision Of Life..

2009-03-04T16:36:00.014+08:00

Now, The Decision Of Life..

Past happenings has ended, glad it is.. But I know, some people still ... about it. Never mind, let them do what they want, gossip till they're done. I'm not going to give a damn about it, because I think it'll just lead me straight to fusses and troubles. So.., why not just live on happily? ^^

Well now, I have to decide this *BIG* decision. Even that I don't want to decide now, I'll have to make up my mind soon too, coz the deadline is around the corner. What I'm talking about? Think lol.. xD Erm.., I guess I'm one in the million to be in this situation, deciding which position suite me best that which determine my future. Currently I'm holding two positions. A class monitor and a school prefect trainee (going to interview soon). I can't really have two positions till the end of school. I have to let go one of it.. >.<" The reason that I still considering deeply till now is because of Mr. John! Well, besides my class teacher, Pn. Usha, he's my second idol to be learn from. I pretty much like peoples like them, but some students, they just won't appreciate. You can't really find these teachers outside anywhere nowadays. He looked up on me, I wouldn't want to let him know i quit. It'll seem that I dissapoint him. Before, we had a lot of conversations. He shares with me some parts of his burden bout the school. Haiz.. What should I do?

Some thinks it's actually just a time wasting job (i agree xD), nothing's much really. If I let go, I'll actually be more happy because at least I don't have to work much, stay happy, interact with my classmates more. Life would be more meaningful rather than duty(assembly), study(after), duty(recess) again, study(after), bye bye! (school ends) >.<" If that's the way, I'll make myself damn lonely, I'll even have psychotic problems for not socializing! Can't cope my homeworks. I felt that, eversince I became a prefect, I've been starting to be stress out, in pressure and less cheerful like I once was. I guess it really affects me. Happiness is actually what i was always after in my life. So, I guess, I have to let it go. Somehow I do miss being a prefect. I also like my both leaders/idols. Pn.Usha had helped me a lot since my first day in school. I appreciate so much.. She taught me a lot of things which is not thought in school. I guess, my gratitude, can't be expressed as it's so much and many complex feelings. I can't wait till teacher's day to express my thanks to her! =D

I'm still under consideration mode now though I already told my senior and head prefect that I wanted to quit. Friday I'll be officially leaving. But in this two days time, he wants to think about it and called to think bout it again too. My senior said I never respect the prefectorial board wor.. Want to join, then join already, so fast want to leave pulak.. = ="! lolx.. how leh? HaHaHa... I think he threaten me that if I leave, I'll probably be recorded under the rules for not respecting prefects, something like that. @#$%!!! xD

Don't know la.. Life seems so complex as we got older. I missed my childhood days >.< Hope I won't regret after my decisions been made because, there'll be no turning back.

Happiness, my meaning of life. P.S: If I let go the burden in me. After exam, probably I should find some time hunting for love relationships. Haha...jkjk

Wish me best oF luck! ^^

The True Meaning Of Life

2009-02-24T01:31:00.005+08:00

the true meaning of life...

Life is about being happy and following your heart. It’s about doing what you want and not caring what anyone thinks. It’s about being yourself and making the best of what you have.

Happiness is a choice and you are the one who is responsible for it. Finding happiness is like finding yourself, and discovering who you are. It is the meaning and also the purpose of life, the whole aim for human existence. When you look up the word happiness in a dictionary, the definition of it is good fortune, pleasure, contentment and joy. But when you think about it, happiness is so much more than that.

People care too much about what people think of them. Life isn’t about impressing anyone. It’s about being proud of yourself, and your decisions. You should want to accomplish your tasks and choices, before you worry about anyone else’s. Life is about making choices. Always aim for the choices that will not get you hurt in the end. Sure, some of the choices you make you will regret, but life is about learning from your mistakes. Regretting things so you will know which way to turn next time. Being “you” is also a very important key in life. Life is about being unique, being different. If we all had the same personalities, the world would not be as fun or creative.

You might think that life is just the human existence, but living is the longest thing that we have, so live it well. Some people ask, “What is the meaning of life?” We were put here for a reason. If we just simply evolved on earth, we would have no meaning.

Life is about being with the people that you love, and also meeting new people. Making friends is very important in life. I know that three of the people in my life have made a difference, and made me the person I am today. They are my three best friends. I have known them for three years, and I plan on being with them for the rest of my life. They showed me the key to happiness, and changed my life. It is important to have people that you can trust, and a shoulder to lean on. Meeting someone new could change everything. Being with the people you love is the best feeling in the world. It could be family or friends, but whether it is each of them, we are inseparable.

You don’t need to have money to be happy. All you need is happiness and the people who love you. So live life with no regrets, and make good choices. The key to life is living how you want to and staying strong when the world around you is weak.

Now Is The Time To Stay Strong, No Running Away!

2009-02-23T12:02:00.008+08:00

Now Is The Time To Stay Strong, No Running Away!

These photos, reminded me of the Survival Camp last year. It was a fun, but tough. So many things we've been through at this 4days 3nights journey to Pulau Pangkor. It was, a sweet memory. I really missed all of it. >.<

During daylight, I could think rationally but I still don't get it, why can't I at night? L0l!
devil in me -.-

I know that my friends been caring about me. Yet I don't know and so unappreciateful. Actually I don't know that he* was this mad until I came back from Divya's party. Coz my senses tell me that something is so wrong and can't stop thinking about it. Then I realised. What?! I never looked at his blog?! (coz i thought he's just a bit offended so I don think he'll go this far gua?) Then when I reached home, only I realised. Things really went bad. SO BAD. He let me know a lot behind the scenes, most parts I accepted it, just some small parts that I disagree with. But it doesn't matter anymore. There's no point of making anymore explanations and quarells. For who believes will believe, for who don't, we can't really force them, rite? =.=

Anyway, I really done many wrong things. I will try my best to fix things, not instantly, but bit by bit, piece by piece.

Since everything around me is at it's weakest, so I shouldn't be the same. So I'm not going to give excuses anymore but to do my part in all I could. I wished I could change their perspectives. Hopefully things will be better soon. Tomorrow's the day.

Be Strong!

Believe in self!!

Trust GOD!!!

Touching Love Story - A Boy's Love

2009-02-22T22:07:00.003+08:00

Touching Love Story - A Boy's Love

A good reminder: "Take time to appreciate what you have now." --Dont miss reading this one.

On the last day before Christmas, I hurried to go to the supermarket to buy theremaining of the gift I didn't manage to buy earlier.

When I saw all the people there, I started to complain tomyself,"It is going to take forever here and I still have so many other places to go.
Christmas really is getting more and more annoying every year.How I wish I could just lie down, go to sleep and only wake up after it..."

Nonetheless, I made my way to the toy section, and there I started to curse the prices, wondering if after all kids really play with such expensive toys.

While looking in the toy section, I noticed a small boy of about 5 years old, pressing a doll against his chest. He kept on touching the hair of the doll and looked so sad. I wondered who was this doll for. Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him, "Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?"

The old lady replied, "You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear."
Then she asked him to stay here for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I started to walk toward him and I asked him who did he want to give this doll to."It is the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her, after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly.

"No, Santa Claus can not bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mother so that she can give it to her when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this.

"My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mummy will also go to see God very soon, so I thought that she could bring the doll with her to give it to my sister."

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, "I told daddy to tell mummy not to go yet. I asked him to wait until I come back from the supermarket."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I also want mummy to take this photo with her so that she will not forget me."

I love my mummy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.I quickly reached
for my wallet and took a few notes and said to the boy, "What if we checked
again, just in case if you have enough money?"

"Ok," he said. "I hope that I have enough."

I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it.There was enough for the doll, and even some spare money.

The little boy said, "Thank you God for giving me enough money."

Then he looked at me and added,"I asked yesterday before I slept for God tomake sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mummy can give it to my sister. He heard me."
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mummy, but I didn't dare to ask God too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and the white rose."
"You know, my mummy loves white rose."

A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my trolley. Ifinished my shopping in a totallydifferent state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of mymind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck who hit a car where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to get out of the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.I couldn't stop myself and went to buy a bunch of white roses and I went to the mortuary where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wish before burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rosein her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place crying, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to that day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk man had taken all this away from him.

Sing? Sing? Wee..wee... =.=

2009-02-22T18:12:00.001+08:00

Sing? Sing? Wee..wee... =.=

Just started my choir classes. The teacher's quite good. I can't sing very high tones and very low tones. But all the middle ones, I can sing. He said, maybe I and another girl, which is Form5, will sing duet during August. OMG.. Sound great ^^ Will be looking forward for it.. But have to improve my vocal range.

My grandma once said (many-many years ago), if you want to sing well, reaching all the high pitches, you should drink raw egg yolks. Lol, just smelling makes me puke leh.. Not sure whether it really helps. I heard she said my grandpa used to drink it when there's a time his voices couldn't come out. After drinking, his voices went clear and louder than before -.- sound cool.

Yesterday, we'd chat among our squad members during squad activities. I mentioned bout singing and dancing things. Then Aiven said that there'll be a competition held soon. The organiser was her school, which is Kuen Chen Independent High School (I think that's the school name). It'll be held at Leisure Mall wor.. She is one of the incharge person so she said she'll help me register. That sounds so cool.. Singing in Leisure Mall.. Wooo... Usually I sing in church (serving for God) to about 90 members, now it'll be like 500? About 5times the previous amount! -.- Nah.. it'll be easy..(lies)

*faint*

Debate

2009-02-22T15:38:00.000+08:00

Debate

Hmm.. Today they had debate.. T_T

I was too late to take part coz i never went church last week.. Forgot why I never went.. The debate tittle is, "is tuition necessary"? Erm, I think definitely necessary lol.. so important leh! Well, erm..depends on the person lor, if he is the lazy kind that can't really focus study on home de, is better to take tuitions.. lol! i'm saying myself. -.- Actually got many reasons.. Doesn't matter la.. If you have money and time. Then go for it.. Coz when teacher's teaching, they talk, even tat ur sleepy, the words still flew in through your ears. Ur brain will store too..xD

Nothin much for now, nt free..xD later ba..

"Husband Mart"

2009-02-18T23:49:00.002+08:00

"Husband Mart"

A store that sells husbands has just opened in Ottawa where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?"

So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love, kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think. What must be awaiting me further on?"

So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping Husband Mart and have a nice day!

P.S = Hahaha.. Really hard to please, they just expect too much.. =D

SMKTC’s Annual Chinese New Year Night

2009-02-16T22:56:00.002+08:00

SMKTC'S Annual Chinese New Year Night

Once again, SMKTC’s Persatuan Bahasa Cina(PBC) held it’s annual Chinese New Year night in Dewan Dato’ Wong Kee Tat. The main theme of this year’s party is “春意” or “Traces Of Spring”, which is translated in English. The event was held on Saturday, February 14th at 7.30pm. The prife of a ticket is RM15 per person.

The performers had their rehersal in the morning during school. All the PBC members and performers was very busy with their works and practices to prepare for the big night. Those who perform includes club members from Chinese Ochestra, Chinese Yoyo, Wushu and many more.

Before the event started, there were lion dance performances at the main entrance of the hall which brings good luck. Many people came and the tickets were all sold out. After a short speech was given, they launched the event with a big hit of the gong. The first performance was the “Colourful Lighting Dance”. It was beautiful and had many colours. Then, they had “Fan Dances”. After that, the Chinese Ochestra’s played the songs and their instructor sang. Everyone liked her voices pretty much and clapped loudly. The Wushu did quite well too, the fast actions of them fighting really exaggarate the audiences. In my opinion, i think they like the chinese yoyo the most. Especially when it is showed in the dark with their glowing yoyos’ flying around in the air like an art. ^^

[Photos are frm last year..xD Can't find any..so use tis lol.. =D]

There is also a drama performance by the Drama Crews.. The story’s quite interesting. Just that it’s a bit complicated because it’s about love. Then, there’s “Chinese Dragon Dance” which range about 25-35metres. Dragons are believed to bring good luck to people, which is reflected in their qualities that include great power, dignity, fertility, wisdom and auspiciousness. The appearance of a dragon is both frightening and bold but it has a benevolent disposition, and so eventually became an emblem to represent imperial authority.

Last but not least, came the special guest singer “Kit Teo Khee Chern”. When he entered, there were about 6 police cadets round him leading him the way to stage. Everyone cheered loudly. The event was ended with some fireworks. All the performers gathered and sang the Chinese New Year song. It is, an unforgettable memory! =D

P.S=Throughout the whole night there, I had no friends besides Jess with me =.= damn lonely!! =(

2009-02-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

"Sacrifice"

a psychic was talking to a ghost,

psychic: why and how did you die?

ghost: i got hit by a truck when i was trying to save someone.

psychic: why did you save that person?

ghost: because i dont want my love to get hurt..

psychic: you really love her huh? maybe she's sad now because of your death..

ghost: no she's really happy now!

psychic: why is that so?

ghost: bacause the person i saved is the man that she truly loves =[

Special Gifts For Late Students =]

2009-02-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

Special Gifts For Late Students =]

For students who always like to come late, better make sure to come to school at time. No matter what reasons you have, you must still follow the rules and regulations. Most of the students claim that they came late to school is because their parents delayed them, traffic jams, woke up late or most probably, it’s they themselves who doesn’t want to enter the school. Many students likes to hang outside the school and wait till the last moment and when they realised, they were late. All students must enter the school latest by 7.15 or will be counted as late.

Today, there were about 20 girls and 30 boys who were late, all lining in two long lines. The girls were lucky as they are not suppose to be caned, but they have to do some morning exercise, Running! I think it is a good punishment because they can be more healthy. For those who came late for school for the first time will be caned 2 times while for the second timers, it’ll be 3 strokes. Mr John caned them one by one.. Each rubbing their buttocks after they got caned, maybe it really hurts >.<>

If you don’t realize, punishing students can be very hurtful to the teacher’s heart. Not everybody is capable of doing this.

So for those who don’t want to experience this, better make sure you enter the hall and school early or on time. =D

Today's Message of the Day

2009-02-13T13:43:00.001+08:00

Today's Message of the Day is:

Life is short,
Break the rules,
Forgive quickly,
Kiss slowly,
Love truly,
Laugh uncontrollably,

And never regret anything that made you smile.. =]

Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we're here we should dance... ^^

11 February 2009

2009-02-11T16:20:00.002+08:00

11 February 2009

Today on 11th February, we had a formal assembly due to a ”Full Attendance Award” event on today’s morning. Just to wait for the event to start took about 30minutes! -.- Everyone was tired of waiting.

The main purpose of having such an award is to encourage all of the students to come to school everyday hence improving the school’s attendancy of students in school. Those who deserves to get the certificates are those who had full attendance for the past year 2008.

In my opinion, this is a very brilliant idea as fewer and fewer students will stop truanting school for that certificate. The certificate is actually very useful as we could use it for our future to apply collge or university or maybe even jobs. It’ll show to your boss that you are hardworking and not idle or lazy. =]

Hopefully students of SMKTC will come to school everyday xD

Sickest Moments Of Life Lately

2009-02-11T14:39:00.002+08:00

Sickest Moments Of Life Lately

Lately, many things sickens me.. etc, wake up 6am in the morning, not getting enough sleep. Reaches school and I have to do my prefect duties. Aches my body.. Then in the class, because of the air-conditioner, I'll be so cold that I shiver till I can't do my work or to concentrate.. >.< It also makes me very, very sleepy.. I'll have to make sure the class is clean, ensure the keys with me, check the attendance, do this, do that and that and that.. Reach home at 2pm, play guitar a little while, if I had time, I would've went sleep but only sometimes.. I have plenty of homeworks on the queue yet I'm lazy as a pig.. xD At about 6pm. I'll have to prepare for my tuition classes which is, EVERYDAY!! Monday to Friday of course.. I'll reach home at 10pm, watch TV a little while, brush teeth, pack up my needed boooks for the next day and straight went dead-deep sleep..

Saturday, the best!! Finally I could sleep till late noon.. But not too late as I have to prepare my stuffs to go to church for Boys Bridgade activities. I'm involve in singing this Saturday, probably have to reach earlier.. So far now is assistant squad leader of squad 3, I'll try my best to lead it well and assist Nicholas.

I guess nothing's really special.. Life~ Aww.. What's really purpose of living?

What A Mess Of Life..! Destroy Me TQ~

2009-02-10T20:23:00.003+08:00

What A Mess Of Life..! Destroy Me TQ~

My life is getting worse as days goes by.. My beloved grandma went hospital several days or I think about 2weeks ago.. Can't remember.. At first I thought I was a very strong boy, that will never ever let myself shed a single tear.. But I was wrong, eventhough it's been a few century since the last tear fall-but I really can't believe my eyes totally went watery when I entered the ward and saw the condition my grandma was in.

I'm feeling kind of miserable nowadays.. CNY just passed, some enjoyable happy moments then straight it serves the sad, bad parts.. Study, study and study.. There's actually a lot I wanted to tell.. But I don't have the time and all the sudden, I can't remember..

Valentine's Day is coming!! This year would be my first year to have no partner celebrating with me.. Since I was Form1, I had ahem* ahem* till Form3.. After the last break-up, I sweared not to find love again, but awaits love to come to me.. Love that comes is actually better than love that you fight and chase for.. It'll be like more secure, sweeter love guaranty and longer-lasting.. Usually love like this, if matched and got together, it'll work out pretty well.. Oh ya, there's one thing I learn from my experience in this love-relationships thingy-never ever ever say "break up to your girlfriend", eventhough u really wanted to, just try to deliver the message to her through whatever ways you can thought of but not directly, sooner or later, she'll definitely let you go. Remember, always let girls to decide letting go.. Why? Think it yourself.. Still don't know? Think harder, if not, ask me then.. xD

This is for now.. Will be next time.. Bye.. No time TO waste.. @_@"

Japan RoCkS!! I Wana Go There!!

2009-01-22T12:15:00.004+08:00

The Japan Rocks~~ LOL, or is it so?

They've came to my school.. I love it.. Haha.. Form4 in charge of the Japanese students.. N I'm form4! They had a present exchange event, guess what I've prepared, a box of coffee! L-O-L, i know it's lame.. But you should ask the person who gave it to me first, which is for my birthday present. If it's coffees like Nescafe 3in1, Nescafe Gold, it'll be a pleasure. But wth -.- , that i-dunno-who gave me a coffee which usually or only Malays drink it.. Zzz... with Tongkat Ali.. N some lolololo ingredients..

Erm, back to the story, before the present exchange, we had a performance.. Both ours and their school prepared some dance or something. It was cool.. Ours was nicely done, though some part was lame.. etc. those malay pompang should'nt be placed inside(useless kids). N erm, bout the Japanese, their starting performance ain't that satifying, but yet attracting coz it's sort of a modern dance, something not found in Malaysia..pathetic world

Theres one song I really like from them, it was the last performance, they said it was bout the fishermen.. The had the catching fish action.. Weird.. Normally we don't or never sing coz we duno Japanese languages, but there's one part we really sang outloud together..xD It sounds like this, ahem* solun solung @#$%^& solun solung.. L-O-L

Here's some of the photos I got.. I really love Japan, I love their lifestyle, their food, the way they go through life, their tradition, the rules and almost everything! I wish I could go there, someday soon =D There's one of my classmate-my fren-not that close, I think she hates me =(
We'd the same thoughts, hopefully come true in da future bah~~ N plz don hate me! LOL~

Memories Of Life~

2009-01-20T23:10:00.001+08:00

Memories Of Life~

Here's a video I styled today. This is specially designed to treasure our memories, friendship.. =] I hope U guys like it.. Though it's not that special.. But sincerity is what that matters most..

Njoy... ^^

[I Remember U-Version 2]

Best Day Of Life! True Friendship Within..

2009-01-18T17:21:00.004+08:00

Best Day Of Life! Friendship Within..

Yesterday was the best day of my life. You can say it's the happiest and the joyest moment that I have ever had! Everything is so beautifully done. I love my friends.. I love all of you guys so much. Don't even know how to express myself, my gratitude.. haha.. Presents doesn't matter.. Heart & Sincerity is what most important. I'm really wana thank to those who helped me in the starting process. Taking tables, chairs and starting up the fire.. Really thanks so much! Seeing you guys going back one by one really hurts a bit. T_T But at least we all share and have this sweet memory. Hope that we'll continue to be friends in the future till the end our journeys.

Everlasting~

Well, not really in the mood for blogging, why don't I let the photos do some talkings?

=] Njoy~

Tomorrow's A BiG Day!!

2009-01-16T13:40:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow's A BiG Day!!

OMG~ OmG~ Omg~ Yesterday before sleep, I checked the name list of incoming guests and found out that there are about 35peoples!! WalAo~~! This would be my biggest event ever, the most invitation given out by me...Zz

Two years ago, I invited 21+friends and it was kind of a tragic because the door's stuck.. Everywhere is full of peoples, the computer and playstation, fully surrounded! Not enough place to sit, chairs full and most have to sit on the floor.. Haiz.. Wat-A-Birthday~ Lol!

At first I think there'll not be many people coming so I invited quite a number of friends. In end, they all came! -.- Hopefully tomorrow the history will not repeat itself.. Hmm.. I gotta do plenty of preparations.. haiz.. Currently I've invited friends from 3different worlds..

1) SMK Perimbun 6 guests
2) SMK Tmn Connaught 10+ guests
3) Boys Bridgade Coy 15+ guests
4) Others (old frenz-pending) 3+ guests

Wish me Da BesT of LucK! =(

Remember-You Are Loved

2009-01-11T10:45:00.002+08:00

Remember-You Are Loved

When the road seems too long
When darkness sets in
When everything turns out wrong
And you can't find a friend
Remember - you are loved

When smiles are hard to come by
And you're feeling down
When you spreads your wings to fly
And can't get off the ground
Remember - you are loved

When time run out before you are through
And it's over before you begin
When little things get to you
And you just can't win
Remember - you are loved

When your loved ones are far away
And you are on your own
When you don't know what to say
When you're afraid of being alone
Remember - you are loved

When sadness comes to an end
And everything is going right
May you think of your family and friends
And keep their love in sightA thank you for being loved

May you see the love around you
In everything you doAnd when troubles seems to surround you
May all the love shine through
You are blessed - you are loved.

[This masterpiece is written by Eliza, i think..coz i'm not pretty sure..lol My admirement towards her works xD P.S:SHE HATES COPY CATS-so I wrote her name(forced) T_T ]

Time To Leave, My Friends..

2009-01-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

Time To Leave, My Friends..

Ng Chee Lee, Lee Wei Lek, Lee Hon Nam, Wong Ken Ren, Ong Cheng Hong and Chin Kok Hing.

Those, were the names of my best pals, my best buddies. Who walk through with me all these days and moments, through the toughest winds and the fiercest storms. They were, all this long, a true friend to me. They helped me a lot through my tough ol days. I could still remember how Ken Ren first offered his help to help out my homeworks when I was Form1. All the joys we had, the fun and laughters, I could never forget for the rest of my life. But of course, there'll surely be fights and arguements occured between us occasionally but it doesn't stop us from getting along. As we grow, we learn, and as we learn, we know and as we know, we got more and more mature. We know when to stop our jokes and pranks, and not till off-limit. We see and care for each other's feelings, so that the bond within us will not seperate.

Time passes like a link of thunder. Form4, now we stand. Making another preparation towards another big exam, SPM. Now, I'm going to shift to another school, sending my last regards. I miss all of you guys, all the memories, the time we spent, the moments we study like hell together for PMR and asking each other History quizes.

Time flows like river. Never to be seen again. But I will always keep u guys in mind.

F-0-R-E-V-R

My First Day Of School!

2009-01-05T15:38:00.002+08:00

My First Day Of School!

In my heart I told myself, "Man o brother Jason, today's your big day, new life and whatever you prayed and hoped for came true, it'll be a big day so get yourself ready up". xD I'm so anticipated to go to school but at the other side, I'm kind of afraid. Well, I guess it's normal to get nervous on his first day of school, rite? Err.., I mean an unknown school who he only visited once. Somehow, in my mind I can't keep myself calm. Part of me was so worry that I'll again, screw up my life. Damn.., it worries me throughout the whole day! I think I'll stop here. Let's not be drag out too much. Well, let me begin my day story then.

As usual what I do, I woke up early morning at 6.20am. Rub my eyes, brush my teeth, clean my face, change my new school uniform, gel my hair, wake my mom, drink a cup of Milo N zoom off..xD Man! Today's traffic really jammed. Wasted about half an hour to reach the school. The closer I am to the school gate, the more nervous I became. The boring part was...to get approve to study in this school. That teacher wasted us bout an hour time, bored of waiting so we went breakfast at the canteen below, then only we came back up to the office and just in time, the incharge person finally came. They said he was at the assembly hall, bla bla bla about something.

Moments later, we got in registered and approved. I was glad I'm in the first class, 4SC1. School's kind of cool, but need time to get use. After that, my mom went work and I went in to the hall and join in my classmates for some Form4 orientation(sucks).. Thought it'll take just a moment.. (only if I noe, mayb it would'nt hav happened)

The so-called ORIENTATION took almost half a day time! Their talking stuff, unbelievable boring and all those hours sitting there, got my waist hurt.. T_T
In the first day of class, I knew some friends. Teacher came in, introduced herself. Then later on, they had this class nomination for positions and incharge person. I was nominated, then all came to the front, each introduced themselves. They just said their name and walked out while I wanted to be something sort of outstanding. So I what I said was, "Hi, my name's Carlson, U can call me Jason. It doesn't matter whether U vote for me or not. But I'll do my best, tq". Then I went outside, the class gave a clapped for my good speech. xD As predicted, I became the class monitor. L-O-L

But I wana become a prefect of something. This is kind of a burden job. Maybe I should let it go later on.. HaHa.. lolx.. So irrespobsible. Btw, some of classmates asked me the same question-Do U noe how to speak Chinese? Zzz....lame
K larh, gotta prepare for da following days.. Wonder how worse will it be? -.-

Journey Of The Day Before New Year

2009-01-02T10:48:00.000+08:00

Journey Of The Day Before New Year

Yesterday's fireworks were superbly awesome! I've a thrill day. It was one of my most enjoyable New Year ever! In the morning, I woke up at 10am. Clean up myself, follow my mum's car and head straight to KL's PPD to apply my school shift. During the process, my mum forgot to bring her marriage document and the officer insisted that it's important(crap~); and so we had to go back to Cheras and then again, return to him.

After that, my mum gave me a ride to Sungei Wang to meet up my BB friends which were already at the roller skate place. It was about 3.30pm when i entered and yet, I haven't eat any food. We left at about 5pm. Then we walked to Times Square to have our dinner. But it never worked out, they then decided to head back to church to eat. I'm not going back with them, so I bought a triple cheese hotdog and a smoothie and for if I don't, I would've starved to death. I called my dad, asking what time he'll reach and he said he'll be here about 7.30pm. Oh gosh! What am I going to do? It's only 6pm now, I can't wait for an hour and half, my legs were so tired for leisure. So I think it's best to watch a movie. I rushed to the cinema zone as soon I said bye to my friends. Bought a 6pm show, 'Bedtime Stories'. Though it's a bit late, but I managed to make it.

At 7.45, movie ends and my dad called, telling me that he has arrived and call me to find him at KLCC by monorail or LRT. I rushed to the monorail station, asked the reception and went in. I was a bit worry whether the infos he gave me was accurate, so I asked someone nearby and it turns out that they were heading the same destination and invited me to join along. There were 3 of them, all hindus. I agreed and during the journey, we actually chat and found out that all of us lived in Cheras area and they know some of my Form4 friends. Got through the monorail then the LRT. We split once we reach there, saved one of their numbers and he asked me to tell his friend that I met him and send his regards.

Later then, I found my family, dad promised to treat me a steak meal as reward for my good results. We went to a famous restaurant called "Chilli". Foods great, view's the best though long queue. We waited till 12midnight and watched the 5minutes fireworks.. It's so beautiful~ What a New Year! I love the day, do you love yours more than mine? I have "family"^^. xD

New Life

2008-12-30T07:59:00.000+08:00

New Life

I've been sitting around this life for years,
Not enough laughs and too many tears.
Trying to figure out where it all went,
These wasted years that I have spent.

Searching for something to go beyond,
Life's a stone skipping across a pond.
At the last skip, it hits with a splash,
Down the stone sinks, gone in a flash.

Pushing and pulling, it's tearing apart,
Poking and prodding an underused heart.
This dark velvet curtain that hides my soul,
Living this life has taken it's toll.

In a flash of bright light, the curtain is torn,
Tumbling down all tattered and worn.
Revealing new life, a child within,
Born free of hate, of suffering and sin.

Now my eyes see what has never been told,
Striving forth happy, confident and bold.
Into a world that's unfamiliar but friendly,
Into this new life my spirit will send me.

Living and laughing, loving it all,
I stood myself up and answered the call.
The darkness has gone, replaced by the light,
I gave up the darkness with hardly a fight.

I've been sitting around this life for years,
With laughter aplenty and hardly a tear.
Now I can see just where it all went,
Cherish every moment of this new life I've spent.

I Don't Want To Be Just Friends!

2008-12-27T16:40:00.000+08:00

I Don't Want To Be Just Friends!

At 6.29pm, I sent her a message asking what she is doing right now. She replied and stated that she's in her grandad's house chatting with her long unseen cousin. Before that, we were talking about a horror game called hotel626, which she introduced to me. I lied to her that I was shocked and my heart pop out, so I replied to her to give me her heart in return. She replied and said that her heart is still vacant, can't find owner yet. I asked if I can do anything to buy her heart away and requested her to stat all the Terms&Conditions and would try my best to fulfill it.

On that moment, I was so anticipated for her answer, it's like proposing or asking her whether we could be together. I prayed in my heart that she'll agree being with me. But I was wrong, cause in the end, it ended up as pain and dissapointment. She said, "mayb wait til we get to know each other more..k? =]". On the other message she stated, "Hey..to tel de truth..i lik it lik this!!must i hv to be ur gf..?i lik it to be lik this much more better..". When I read it, my heart shattered into million pieces, it felts like I was stabed right through and deep inside my heart. My eyes were watery but my tears just won't drop, I can feel the sadness within my heart but I'm trying my best to stay strong. I should've know that this would be the ending.

To her, I was just a "very good fren" which makes her feel more comfortable with. It was always sweet to see her messages and I enjoyed the complicated feelings while waiting her messages. I always wished that I could officially be with her. Now I'm just making myself more dissapointments.

Aiming for the sky, felling to the ground.

Can't it be another way not just to be friends?!

Be Part Of Her Life

2008-12-26T17:28:00.000+08:00

Be Part Of Her Life

Lately, every day and night, my mind was all about her. Every moment, every minute, every seconds.. I just can't seem to get her off my mind even a second. Usually, my first thought whenever i woke up was about my daily activities. Now, what I could see is her. Everything seems so beautiful in thoughts.

One night, she asked me why I like her so much and what I liked about her. I don't really know what to reply. Cause love to me is unexplainable, unnatural. On that night, I kept thinking about her, about what she wrote. I thought to myself and sadness felt deep within. I wished to cry outloud, but-I can't. I wished, sooner or later.. She would let me in to be part of her life.

'JV...I love you..', cried myself.

"I can't answer dat..let God decides..."

2008-12-25T15:36:00.000+08:00

"I can't answer dat..let God decides..."

I asked if she'll ever forget me someday and fall for another guy. She answers back to me with these words, "I can't answer dat..let God decides...". It really hurts to hear this but yet true, nothing is parmenant and forever. I always wished to be with her, bring her out or even spend my entire holidays just with her. But none of this could ever happen, theres just to much blockage on our ways. I wanted to let her know that I really care for her, willingly to sacrafice no matter how much it'll take. She asked me if I'll wait for her answer, without hesitate, I agreed. Even I know that we'll not end up being together, yet I don't wanna give her up. Deep in my heart, I lied to myself, that nothings going to happen, things will be just fine. But I'm afraid time is no longer available, I'm not sure we're able to wait for each other as school holiday's about to end.

Dear, I wondered when....

|ll|ll|ll|ll|ll|

2008-12-20T18:21:00.000+08:00

llllllllll

in my darkest moments

you`re the light.in my weakest moments

you`re the pillar.

& in my happiest moments

you`re the REASON...

the reason for me to go on.

if love is like a ride...

you made it worthwhile.

if love is like a river...

ours will always flow.

if love is a dream...

i would want to sleep forever.

[This poem is composed for someone special, my best friend, who walks with me throughout my lonely holidays. JV, thx!]

The Door Of Life

2008-12-02T21:51:00.000+08:00

The Door Of Life

Thinking of you, wherever you are.
We pray for our sorrows to end, and hope that our hearts will blend.
Now I will step forward to realize this wish.
And who knows:
Starting a new journey would not be so hard,
or maybe it has already begun.
There are many worlds,
But they share the same sky-
one sky,
one destiny.

My Tough Decision.. Once Again..

2008-11-19T14:55:00.000+08:00

My Tough Decision.. Once Again..

I guess I've no choice.. I guess history's about to repeat itself for the third time.. It'll have to be someone that is bold enough to be that determined to take this action.. At least without regret, and I guess I'm the one.. What am I talking a bout? Well, I'll began from the beginning then.. For those who don't know me, I used to be a very bad kid before, eversince the first year I went high school.. I was a prefect there and at the mean time, I was also a one of the black society members.. Helping them and giving away signs whenever there's fight's and spot-checks. I was quite a popular and threatful guy there.. Fights was once like a normal occasion that happens in that school, like watching SmackDown every Friday.. =) I used to host it twice N sometimes got myself too, into fights..

Once I hurt my parents, hurt my friends.. Besides what I've told u above, theres more than what happened above, (etc. spraying paint onto people's car/house, humiliate peoples by doing something mean in crowds, calling other triads beat up some guy for revenge). So I decided to change myself..and I meant, completely..

[Big Changes 1]I quited everything at the on October 2007. It was'nt easy to quit, I've gave plenty of excuses not only to my boss, but also my boss's boss. Always remember, getting in, it may just take 1min to think, but to get out, it may need your life..

Since that day, on the following year, many of my friends told me that I've changed a lot.. Not only I'm not that hot-tempered, I even reduce speaking foul words and pulling my shirt out..

[Big Changes 2]Besides that big decision....BB is the second fuzz in my mind.. I don't know what i should do..?BB means Boys Bridgade.. A place where I knew a lot of friends, it's a great place.. Where u can hang out, play, studies, camps or learn leadership and even musics.. LOL.. I'm so unhappy lately.. Because some of them is just so annoying, nothing make sense anymore.. I wish I could get rid of them.. Well, bout BB, I don't really felt like telling all about it.. I'll be shifting school next year, quit every single activity that involves interaction.. I'm lousy, things just always ends badly in end.. I don't wish to continue living in hell, I want something new.. I need.. A Brand New Life..!! Pathetic~

VeRy T0uChiNG shORt StoRy

2008-06-03T15:09:00.000+08:00

VeRy T0uChiNG shORt StoRy

A girl and a boy were on a motorcycle, speeding through the night.
They loved each other a lot…..
Girl:"slow down a little.. I’m scared.."
Boy: "No, it’s so fun.."
Girl: "please..it’s so scary.."
Boy: "Then say that you love me.."
Girl: "Fine..I love you..can you slow down now?"
Boy: "Give me a big hug.."
The girl gave him a big hug.
Girl: "Now can you slow down?"
Boy: “Can you take off my helmet and put it on?
It’s uncomfortable and it’s bothering me while i ride.”

The next day, there was a story in the newspaper.
A motorcycle had crashed into a building because
its brakes were broken.
There were two people on the motorcycle,
of which one died, and the other had survived…
The guy knew that the brakes were broken.
He didn’t want to let the girl know,
because he knew that the girl would have gotten scared.
Instead, he was told the last time that she loved him,
got a hug from her,
put his helmet on her so that she can live,and die himself…

A Touching love story!

2008-06-03T13:25:00.000+08:00

A Touching love story!

"A touching love story that 'll make u cry"

10th Grade:-

As I sat there in English class,
I stared at the girl next to me.
She was my so called 'best friend'.
I stared at her long, silky hair,
and wished she was mine.
But she didn't notice me like that,
and I knew it.
After class,
she walked up to me and asked me for
the notes she had missed the day before.
I handed them to her.She said 'thanks'
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

11th grade:-

The phone rang.
On the other end,
it was her.
She was in tears,
mumbling on and on about how
her love had broke her heart.
She asked me to come over
because she didn't want to be alone,
So I did.
As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her
soft eyes, wishing she was mine.
After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie,
and three bags of chips,
she decided to go home.
She looked at me, said 'thanks'
and gave me a kiss
on the cheek..I want to tell her,
I want her to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Senior year:-

One fine day she walked to my locker.
"My date is sick" she said,
"hes not gonna go" well,
I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade,
we made a promise that
if neither of us had dates,
we would go together just as 'best friends'.
So we did.
That night, after everything was over,
I was standing at her front door step.
I stared at her as She smiled at me
and stared at me with her crystal eyes.
Then she said- "I had the best time, thanks!"
and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Graduation:-

A day passed, then a week, then a month.
Before I could blink, it was graduation day.
I watched as her perfect body
floated like an angel
up on stage to get her diploma.
I wanted her to be mine-but
she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it.
Before everyone went home,
she came to me in her smock and hat,
and cried as I hugged her.
Then she lifted her head from my shoulder
and said- 'you're my best friend,
thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Marriage:-

Now I sit in the pews of the church.
That girl is getting married now.
and drive off to her new life,
married to another man.
I wanted her to be mine,
but she didn't see me like that,
and I knew it.
But before she drove away,
she came to me and said 'you came !'.
She said 'thanks' and kissed me on the cheek.
I want to tell her,
I want her to know
that I don't want to be just friends,
I love her but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.

Death:-

Years passed, I looked down at the coffin
of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'.
At the service, they read a diary entry
she had wrote in her high school years.
This is what it read:
'I stare at him wishing he was mine,
but he doesn't notice me like that,
and I know it.
I want to tell him,
I want him to know that
I don't want to be just friends,
I love him but I'm just too shy,
and I don't know why.
I wish he would tell me he loved me !
.........'I wish I did too...'

I thought to my self, and I cried.

Th3 KEY oF MyseLF

2008-06-02T13:03:00.000+08:00

Th3 KEY oF MyseLF

"If there is something to desire,
there will be something to regret.
If there is something to regret,
there will be something to recall.
If there is something to recall,
there was nothing to regret.
If there was nothing to regret,
there was nothing to desire."
I've learnt something from it.
Additional Forgive and Forget.
i'll try not to bring up the matter again.
Becos is a waste of my time.
i realise im not being myself these few days.
No Funs and Jokes.
I would need to look for the KEY to myself again.
It will help alot.
=]
Cheers and Smiles.
Fun, Laughter, Peace and Joy again!

My LaM3 yEaR Of 2OO8 (JAN-JUNE)

2008-01-20T16:09:00.000+08:00

My LaM3 yEaR Of 2OO8 (JAN-JUNE)

Haiz.... My life is miserable and meaningless.. From day to day I goes to school, go home, eat and sleep and goes to school again.. What does it means? I'm getting bored.. I was once a very happy go-lucky guy with plenty of friends, fans, my love one (girlfriend) and bla bla.. But things just changed so fast.. Everything that I used to have before seems to have dissapeared.. I went through a long journey to get to this day.. Through the journey, I maked a lot of dumb-selfished mistakes, causing myself misery, pain and tears. So I kept losing whatever I have as time goes by until the last moment to realise that I have nothing left.. Every night of the day, where our weakest self is being shown, I realised and I cried for my guilt. I determined to change and be a new me and get part of all that I once lost, back to me. I'll try to change what people thinks about me and change their perspectives. I hope I could make it through and by "hook or by crook", I'll make my way..! I'm comiNG!! 2OO8!!